I find it hard to answer this question because I’ve been cheated on and I’ve cheated myself.
A few days ago a friend came to me and asked can a cheater actually stop cheating and should they be given a second chance.
I’m 31 now and when I cheated on my partner I was about 25, I was cheated on by my fiance at I was 28. Although I was heartbroken I said to myself that this must be the Karma coming back to bite me in my arse.
Back to my friend, she is 31 as well and has been dating a guy for about six years. She trusted him so much that they didn’t worry about locking their phones or even having a password on their computers.
One day her laptop died and she urgently needed to send an email. She picked up his computer and opened it but the computer was locked. She tried all the passwords she could think of but nothing would work. Until she typed his name backward with his year of birth.
Open sesame. What she found made her weak at the knees. A simple email from the Holiday Inn in Adelaide with a reservation for two. It requested an early check-in and early checkout.
She picked up her phone and went to her messages and there it was, “babe will be home a bit late tonight going for a mentoring session with Toby.” She had never met “toby” but for the last year, he was mentoring her “boyfriend” in business practices.
A few weeks later my friend worked out that Toby was actually Tori a 21-year-old intern in the law firm that he was a Senior Associate at.
Its now been about six months and they have started to speak again, she asked me if a cheater can change?
My honest response was no.
What would you have done in my shoes?